Ask The Writer

Is there anything wrong with starting a lot of sentences with verbs that end in "-ing"?

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By Brandi Reissenweber

Published: January 5, 2012

Brandi Reissenweber

Q: Is there anything wrong with starting a lot of sentences with verbs that end in "–ing"? Here’s an example: “Swinging the bat, the ball soared past the wooden fence.”

A: Too much of any one stylistic choice can dampen the vibrancy of your prose. So, it’s a good idea to change things up, even at the sentence level. Based on your sample sentence, though, the problem goes beyond repetitive syntax. Let me explain.

Two things happen in this sentence: 1) he swung the bat and 2) the ball went past the wooden fence. The way you’ve constructed the sentence indicates they happened at the same time. As he swung the bat, the ball soared past the fence. While these actions certainly happen in quick succession, they don’t happen simultaneously. First, he swings the bat. After that, the ball soars past the fence. You have some options on how to fix this and make the cause and effect nature of the action clear:

He swung the bat and the ball soared past the rickety wooden fence.

He swung the bat. The ball soared past the rickety wooden fence.

Plenty of sentences with this construction can work. Just make sure the actions happen at the same time.

• • •

Brandi Reissenweber teaches fiction writing and reading fiction at Gotham Writers' Workshop and authored the chapter on characterization in Gotham's Writing Fiction: The Practical Guide. Her work has been published in numerous journals, including Phoebe, North Dakota Quarterly and Rattapallax. She was a James C. McCreight Fiction Fellow at the Wisconsin Institute for Creative Writing and has taught fiction at New York University, University of Wisconsin and University of Chicago. Currently, she is a visiting professor at Illinois Wesleyan University.
Send your questions on the craft of creative writing to writingquestions@writermag.com. All of Brandi's other Ask The Writer columns are available to registered users.

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I have found that these kinds of phrases often slow down the action, and that they are also unnecessary. It's often better to say what is happening first, and then add the modifier, if you must, so that the reader already knows what phrase is talking about. Consider the difference:

"May I help you, Miss Smith?" Bob asked, stepping forward to extend his arm.

Stepping forward to extend his arm, Bob asked , "May I help you, Miss Smith?"

In the second example, though technically correct, Bob's *arm* is centre stage in the front end of the sentence. The reader has no clue what's going on untill I'm 2/3 of the way through the sentence. (is Bob stretching? slapping someone? offering a handshake? saluting?)

Notice also that the sentence works just as well without using this phrase at all. I wouldn't bother using it if it's incidental. However, such phrases can be very useful if used to convey something about the character: for example:

--Sailing forward and sweeping his arm in an elegant, formal bow, Bob offered, "May I help you, Miss Smith?"

-- "May I help you, Miss Smith?" Bob muttered, neither stepping forward, nor offering his arm.

In short, my own approach is to save such phrases when they're actually adding to the characterization, but skipping them when it seems like they are incidental "fillers".

Submitted: 3/17/2012 7:52:25 PM (CST)

I haven't heard the term 'dangling participle before. I understood the sentence to contain a dangling modifier.

Submitted: 2/5/2012 7:27:21 PM (CST)

A good point Kim. I've learned in writing that every sentence should fit the context of the story or paragraph. When there is action, there is cause for the action. It all comes down to these three questions, does the sentence make sense?, does it fit or add to the story?, and is it necessary?.

Submitted: 1/12/2012 6:18:57 PM (CST)

Phyllis Rose and Kim Blossom are both grammatically correct, but I would approach the problem from a slightly different angle. As a former ESL teacher, I am interested in tenses, and verbs ending in "-ing" belong to the progressive or continuous tenses. There are subtle differences between the progressive past, for example, and the simple past, which can affect sentence meaning.

Note how the relationship with time differs between "I was watching the cat" and "I watched the cat." To an English reader, the first sentence builds an expectation of something else happening while the narrator watches the cat. Also, certain verbs, such as "believe," do not lend themselves well to the progressive tenses.