Critique My Query

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Loveyoubye, a memoir

An evaluation of an agent query letter
By Marla Miller
Published: September 13, 2010
Marla Miller
Marla Miller
The query letter

Dear ________:

Loveyoubye, a memoir, is the story of a woman at a crossroads. X's 25-year marriage has become unbearable, her job is being eliminated, and she’s faced with having to return home to South Africa to rescue her mentally impaired brother, the source of a lifetime of angst and guilt. Her struggle to help her brother gives her the key to her past and her future. She vows that from now on she will live her life with two questions uppermost in mind: Is this making me happy? Is this moving me forward? Holding fast to this mantra, she learns to trust herself and finds the courage to move forward. Her two lovable dogs play a key part in the story.

Recalling the intimacy of Breakup: The End of a Love Story, and in the literary style of Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight, this story is about holding fast to a dream even as it becomes a nightmare, not trusting oneself, and allowing a childhood incident to poison a relationship.

I'm a fourth-generation white African who finally made it to America, country of my dreams, where I now write about the wild old days of my childhood as well as the wild new days of my chosen life. I’ve taken several writers workshops nationally, including one at the University of Iowa and a number of memoir workshops with Ana Maria Spagna. An excerpt from Loveyoubye appeared in the anthology Interstices in May of this year. In 2002, I was awarded “Best Fiction” at the San Diego Writers Conference, and, in 2007, took second place at the Maui Writers Conference. 

A complete manuscript of Loveyoubye, at 63,000 words, is available upon request. 
 
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
 
Yours sincerely,

[Name withheld]

The critique


Want Marla to critique your agent query letter?

Send your letter to marketingthemuse@gmail.com. Be sure to use the subject line "The Writer Query Letter Critique." Queries for nonfiction and fiction (all genres) are welcome.

Marla Miller, a writer herself, teaches Marketing the Muse Workshops at the Southern California Writers' Conference and the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Her Quick Query Critique video segments are available at www.marketingthemuse.com.
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5 stars
OSCAR LAPLANTE from RHODE ISLAND said:
I believe she has written a fine piece , fast paced and her characters are genuine as you read along I give her a 5 rating
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