Critique My Query

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The Wreck of the Gladys B., a YA novel

AN EVALUATION OF A QUERY LETTER FOR A BOOK

By Marla Miller
Published: June 13, 2011
Marla Miller
Marla Miller
The query letter

Title: The Wreck of the Gladys B.
Author: [Blank]
Approximately 84,000 words.
Genre: Middle school/Young adult

Synopsis: Chrissie Warren is a shy girl who isn't sure where she fits in Virginia in 1718. When her father fails to return home after a long sea voyage, the girl learns his ship, the Gladys B., has been taken by pirates. Most of her neighbors believe he has been killed by or joined the captors. Chrissie believes he's a prisoner of the pirates and that she has to rescue him.

Disguised as a boy, she signs onto a Caribbean-bound ship to find him. Her shipmates include Charlie Stickle, a rough old salt who mentors the new sailor without guessing she’s a girl, and Jack Farmer, a young man who seems much too learned to be a common tar. In the Caribbean, she undergoes pirate attacks, storms at sea, close calls with the navy press gang and run-ins with dockside lowlifes, and adversity reveals the strength within her to follow her plan.

With Charlie and Jack, plus Nathan, an ancient Caribbean fisherman who befriends them, she tracks the pirates to their lair. There she meets the pirate captain, Davy Leech, and it becomes personal. Chrissie has to go face-to-face with the pirate on a cliff overlooking the Caribbean—and only one of them can survive!

About me: As co-founder of [Blank], I have a unique platform bringing me to the attention of millions annually. I am co-author of two humor books, have done hundreds of radio, television and newspaper interviews, have performed in Las Vegas, L.A., San Francisco, Chicago, New Orleans and Philadelphia, and have appeared on national television. Our website, [Blank], receives millions of hits a year, and on Facebook we have thousands of fans. That doesn't make me special, I know. But it does mean I have a potential market of several million people who already know I exist, and from a business perspective that's not a bad place to start. I have been writing for a living for more than 30 years, so I know my way around a sentence. As the father of three girls, now grown, I am keenly aware of the need for strong female characters in young-adult fiction.

Contact info: [Blank]
       
I can send you the complete manuscript by post or email at your convenience.

Thank you for your valuable time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

[Name withheld]

The critique


Want Marla to critique your book query?

Send your query letter to marketingthemuse@gmail.com. Be sure to use the subject line "The Writer Query Letter Critique." Queries for nonfiction and fiction (all genres) are welcome, and critiques are free.

Marla Miller, a writer herself, teaches Marketing the Muse Workshops at the Southern California Writers' Conference and the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Her Quick Query Critique video segments are available at marlamiller.com.
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5 stars
CRAIG LASOTA from ILLINOIS said:
In addition to Maria's wonderful critique above, authors might be interested in a free download from agent extraordinaire Noah Lukeman. It's an excellent ebook (Free PDF, $.99 for Kindle) called, How To Write a Great Query Letter:
http://www.lukeman.com/greatquery/download.htm
Another great resource is Mr. Lukeman's ebook, How To Land (and Keep) a Literary Agent ($3.99 for PDF, $2.99 for Kindle or Nook)(when I downloaded it, it was $19.95! lol Timing is everything!)
http://www.lukeman.com/landaliteraryagent/index.htm
LORI THATCHER from MASSACHUSETTS said:
I'd love to have the critique in text also. My fringe Wifi won't let me view it.
4 stars
L F LEYDEKKERS from CALIFORNIA said:
I was under the impression that if you self published first a publsher frowns on your submission. Is it the same with epublishing? What is the current feeling in the market about this?
I liked the idea of this story, but questioned how this young girl (what age?) was able to take on such physical battle with veteran Pirates. Interesting concept and I would like to see how it developes. I do enjoy YA adventure and like to see more female protagonists.
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