Critique My Query

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Keeping Time, a nonfiction book

AN EVALUATION OF A QUERY LETTER FOR A BOOK

By Marla Miller
Published: August 15, 2011
Marla Miller
Marla Miller
The query letter

Dear ________:

From the first sundial that divided daylight into hours, to today’s atomic clocks that literally “split seconds,” mankind has sought to measure and control time. We can’t see time—or perceive it through any of our senses. We can’t define it—except in relation to its measurement. Yet time can be measured more precisely than any form of matter.
 
My book of approximately 22,000 words, Keeping Time: The Quest to Measure and Control It, accomplishes two goals. First, stories related to the mystery of time and the history of timekeeping, written in a conversational tone with anecdotes, entertain and inspire. Second, I show how these inventions have affected the lives of the people. The subject matter is related to the social studies and science curriculum of middle school students, the audience for whom the book was written.
 
Each invention that moved time measurement forward, dividing it into smaller and smaller segments, changed society. The problem of establishing a workable calendar, the invention of the mechanical clock, the struggle to invent a clock that would work on the rolling sea, the need for exact time measurement in our modern world—these are but a few of the challenges that are encountered in this story.
 
Ironically, although we have learned to measure this invisible, immaterial entity more precisely than any concrete matter, time has the power to control us. The closing chapter of Keeping Time is devoted to ways in which we can protect ourselves from becoming slaves to time—a concern relevant to the stress-related lives of today’s children.
 
James Cross Giblin considered the concept of Keeping Time marketable, and invited me to use his name when ready to submit. In 1992, when I began my research, most of the books for this age level were over 30 years old. The millennium spurred the publication of a number of time-related books, mostly picture books for early elementary students. A few were written for this age level, but I did not find one that addressed the effect of time measurement on lifestyle, the theme of Keeping Time.
 
I am a member of [Blank] and a graduate of two [Blank] courses. I have a master’s degree in child development and education, and taught in public and private schools for 30 years. After retiring, I spent nine years as a feature writer for [Blank] newspaper, and have published two adult nonfiction books. My juvenile publications include stories in [Blank] and [Blank], and poetry in [Blank] and [Blank]. I continue to keep in touch with children by teaching sixth and seventh grades in a church setting.
 
If you are interested, I will send the entire manuscript, which I will revise as directed.
 
Sincerely,

[Name withheld]

The critique


Want Marla to critique your book query?

Send your query letter to marketingthemuse@gmail.com. Be sure to use the subject line "The Writer Query Letter Critique." Queries for nonfiction and fiction (all genres) are welcome, and critiques are free.

Marla Miller, a writer herself, teaches Marketing the Muse Workshops at the Southern California Writers' Conference and the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Her Quick Query Critique video segments are available at marlamiller.com.
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MARLA MILLER from CALIFORNIA said:
so glad to hear that these critiques help, thank you all for taking time to comment---your comments give us direction! i know some folks would rather I did not read the letter-just critique it-but the value of 'hearing' what's on the page can't be denied. This letter offers a good example of that fact.
Thanks Peeps!
:)
Marla
www.MarlaMiller.com
5 stars
DOUGLAS PAGE from MASSACHUSETTS said:
Great letter. Thank you.
5 stars
PATRICIA STARZYK from WASHINGTON said:
I agree with you, Marla. When I read the letter to myself I didn't pick up on the fact that it was aimed at middle school students. I was surprised to hear that when you read the letter out loud because it definitely seemed to me like a book aimed at adults.
Very useful advice - show vs tell, even in query letters.
5 stars
KEN MURRAY from TEXAS said:
Thank you, Marla, for offering these free critiques. I found it very helpful. You offer many excellent points and these points come from a seasoned, professional writer/editor with obviously a lot of writing/publishing experience. I am into magazine writing right now, but eventually would like to write books. I am not published yet but find learning opportunities like this to be invaluable.
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