Critique My Query

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The Dog Called Sammy, a memoir

An evaluation of a query letter for a book
By Marla Miller
Published: September 12, 2011
Marla Miller
Marla Miller
The query letter

Dear ________:

I am writing to interest you in a book manuscript entitled The Dog Called Sammy: A Memoir.

When [Blank], a recently retired college professor, adopts a rascally, black rescue dog, she faces family and neighborhood consternation when he barks, chases children, growls at people he meets, and ransacks the kitchen looking for food. At the same time, she encounters unexpected loss of status and avenues for achievement with retirement. The dog gives her an outlet for suppressed ambitions.

The story begins with meeting the dog, gradual acceptance, and training to overcome his behavioral problems. They succeed when Sammy passes the Canine Good Citizen test and then go on to learn the dog sport called rally obedience. No one thought the barky, growly, aggressive little dog could learn, but he not only learns, he shines. This book tells how the author and dog trained for and struggled through nine trials to finally achieve five titles and two major championships in his first full year of competition; they end the year among the top 20 teams in the nation. The dog also overcomes two serious illnesses: epilepsy and pancreatitis. Along the way, the author struggles to come to terms with retirement, and encounters family crises. This story covers the first three years of the author’s retirement; an epilogue brings the reader up to date and reflects on what she learned in those first three years. (The dog is still living)

The author left 14 years of social work practice for academia in 1978. During her academic career, she published one book and numerous peer-reviewed articles and book chapters. The book, [Blank], was published by [Blank] Publications in 1997 and is still in print. She retired in 2004, which is when this story begins.

The 143-page, 44,000-word manuscript is complete. There are numerous photographs not included in the page count. I will be happy to forward parts of or all of it upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to a reply from you.

Sincerely,

[Name withheld]

The critique


Want Marla to critique your book query?

Send your query letter to marketingthemuse@gmail.com. Be sure to use the subject line "The Writer Query Letter Critique." Queries for nonfiction and fiction (all genres) are welcome, and critiques are free.

Marla Miller, a writer herself, teaches Marketing the Muse Workshops at the Southern California Writers' Conference and the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Her Quick Query Critique video segments are available at marlamiller.com.
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MARLA MILLER from CALIFORNIA said:
Remember the quick query critique's goal-to eliminate 'speed bumps' so we can THEN assess the story potential--
RE: other doggy centered stories-there is ALWAYS room for one more dog-centric story IF it's fresh-by that I mean, not a 'knock off' of famous stories already out there--
The readers who love Marley & Me et al are waiting for the next dog to fall in love with---! That's the task for this writer--make us fall in love---!
But FIRST, get rid of everything in the query that keeps us from understanding/following the narrative arc--
Hope this helps.
Marla
HEART PRIVACY from VIRGINIA said:
My main concern with this one would be that hasn't this story already been basically done with Marley and Me, Oogy, You Had Me At Woof, etc.? What makes this one substantially different? I'm kind of surprised Marla didn't mention that in the video.
LINDA KURTZ from MICHIGAN said:
Marla: I got your email about the revised query letter. I had seen an outline for a query letter somewhere that I thought indicated including the market I've redone the query letter again, but I'm not sure I should send it.
DIANA LANGNER from WASHINGTON said:
Marla,

Thanks for being so kind to answer my question on POV. I get it now. :)

Diana
MARLA MILLER from CALIFORNIA said:
Linda
remember who the narrator of this story is-we can't follow the story if the narrator doesn't provide the road map--
marlamiller.com

ps. i got your query revision--take a look at what you sent--by all that you know about query letters, would you call what you sent a query letter..or is it a book proposal?
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