Critique My Query

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Sing Me a Lullaby, a memoir

An evaluation of a query letter for a book

By Marla Miller
Published: October 31, 2011
Marla Miller
Marla Miller
The query letter

Dear ________:

I am seeking representation for my 65,000-word memoir, Sing Me a Lullaby. Because you have an interest in memoir, I hope the manuscript is a good match. Sing Me a Lullaby is the first memoir to provide readers a personal look at teenage parenthood.                     
 
In 1974, while growing up on a dairy farm in rural Maine, I became a single mother at 15. Sing Me a Lullaby is the story of my journey through high school while living alone with my infant daughter, Stephanie. Our story is juxtaposed against my parents’ divorce and abandonment of me and my child. My challenges are many:  “One morning, in my haste to fasten a clean diaper snug around Stephanie’s wriggling hips, I pricked her with a diaper pin. She howled. I burst into tears. We wailed together until I heard the school bus honk its horn before rolling on past the house. Stop crying, I scolded myself, swiping away my tears with my fingertips. You didn’t mean to do it. I cuddled Stephanie against my chest until her sobs softened into sniffles. ...”
      
My poems and essays have appeared in journals and anthologies. The prologue to Sing Me a Lullaby was previously published in [Blank] Review. I am adjunct professor of English at [Blank] College, and I hold a MFA in creative writing from [Blank] College. I am prepared to send you the completed manuscript and/or proposal. Please be aware that I am submitting multiple submissions. I have enclosed a SASE for your reply. Thank you for considering Sing Me a Lullaby. I look forward to hearing from you.        

Sincerely,

[Name withheld]

The critique


Want Marla to critique your book query?

Send your query letter to marketingthemuse@gmail.com. Be sure to use the subject line "The Writer Query Letter Critique." Queries for nonfiction and fiction (all genres) are welcome, and critiques are free.

Marla Miller, a writer herself, teaches Marketing the Muse Workshops at the Southern California Writers' Conference and the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Her Quick Query Critique video segments are available at marlamiller.com.

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MARLA MILLER from CALIFORNIA said:
don't you just love to read a good query-now, that said, doesn't mean the author will get an agents BUT at least the author can feel good about her skill level--We MUST learn this art form---don't laugh...:) writing an effective query letter requires much skill & it's learned over time so keep rewriting them & get feedback because after a while, you can't 'see' it anymore---!!!
all the best,
Marla
MARLA MILLER from CALIFORNIA said:
I LOVE posting queries that work!!! The query gods know we have plenty of examples of letters that don't hook- MANY be found in my hard drive...:)
Glad you guys liked this one---role modeling is a good thing....
Marla
www.MarlaMiller.com
5 stars
MARGARET ELAM from OHIO said:
Excellent! I want to read the book. The letter held my interest all the way.
SAM CAMPBELL from VIRGINIA said:
I like how concise it was. It explained and grabbed attention in such few words! Nice example of how a query should be
5 stars
EDWARD MURPHY from PENNSYLVANIA said:
Great query letter, nice article.
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