Critique My Query

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For the Common Good, a novel

An evaluation of a query letter for a book

By Marla Miller
Published: March 19, 2012
Marla Miller
Marla Miller
The query letter

Dear ________:

I am currently seeking representation for my novel For the Common Good. It is a comical and touching story written for working adults who long to do something meaningful.
 
Have you ever worked in a dead-end job and longed for something better? Have you experienced the excitement of getting the opportunity of a lifetime? Isn’t it disappointing when reality doesn’t quite match the dream?
 
Meet Samantha Lutz, a typical wife and mother in her late 30s, approaching her midlife crisis, desperately in need of change. While working at a dull, meaningless, dead-end job, Sam longs to do something meaningful, where she can make a difference, where she can be somebody. While surfing the Internet at work one fateful day, Sam stumbles across an ad for a job where she could make more money than she's ever made in her entire life—$14 per hour!
 
Overnight, Sam finds herself working for the U.S. federal government, behind the scenes. Follow along in Sam's quest to make a difference, and join her struggle to determine if she and her colleagues are in it for the common good or the common greed. This is a story of tragedy, greed, lust, drunkenness, incompetence, idiocy and other enjoyable topics that will make the reader laugh hysterically. Follow along with Sam on her quest for excellence in an environment of chaos and lunacy. If you enjoy watching the spectacle of The Office, just wait until you read about what happens at the agency!
 
For the Common Good is 77,518 words and is my first novel. With a master’s degree in public administration, I have extensive knowledge of how government organizations are supposed to be in theory. My observations and experiences have shown me how organizations are in reality. My imagination and sense of humor are the tools used to craft a novel that is fun to read.
 
I would be delighted to send you For the Common Good for your review and would look forward to speaking with you in greater detail. A partial or full manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

[Name withheld]

The critique


Want Marla to critique your book query?

Send your query letter to marketingthemuse@gmail.com. Be sure to use the subject line "The Writer Query Letter Critique." Queries for nonfiction and fiction (all genres) are welcome, and critiques are free.

Marla Miller, a writer herself, teaches Marketing the Muse Workshops at the Southern California Writers' Conference and the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Her Quick Query Critique video segments are available at marlamiller.com.

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MARLA MILLER from CALIFORNIA said:
Writers,
So glad this one resonates. Yep, the old adage "Show don't tell' applies to the query letter, too!
Marla
5 stars
PETE PETERSON from CALIFORNIA said:
Marla, you're a jewel! So is your video column. You consistently dispense great advice not only on writing query letters, but on writing in general. Your remarks that if a writer says something is funny, it at least should make one smile can be translated as do what you say you will do. That's advice any writer can profit from. Thank you!
4 stars
GRANT FLINT from CALIFORNIA said:
Good critique, I get it.
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