Question 4: I write because I…
a. Want to earn Dan-Brown-style advances.
b. Am smarter than the author of [insert any book
c. Am not very good at STEM-field jobs.
d. Kick butt on social media posts. People LOVE my stuff there. Seriously.
e. Can’t help myself.
*Give yourself 31 points for answering E.
*OK, go ahead and give yourself 1 point each for answers A, B, C, and D.
Question 5: Your most recent book is panned in a review. You respond by:
a. Going on a social media rampage about that reviewer’s bias/incompetence/low IQ.
b. Enlisting the internet to locate the home address of the reviewer.
c. Creating a dim-witted character in your next book who is not-so-covertly based upon the reviewer.
d. Blaming a ghostwriter/book doctor/editor/agent/marketing person.
e. Doubling your efforts to write the next book.
*Give yourself 1,498 points for answering E.
Question 6: Which of the following have you done in the last month during your pre-determined writing time INSTEAD of writing?
a. Gone down the Fark.com digital rabbit hole.
b. Used the Street View mode in Google Earth to try to find yourself.
c. Watched baby panda videos on YouTube.
d. Tweeted about your lunch.
e. Been clickbaited into reading another Kardashian article.
*Give yourself –9 points for each answer.
Question 7: Which of these clichés offends you the most?
a. Dead as a doornail.
b. Every dog has its day.
c. Think outside the box.
d. Low-hanging fruit.
e. Like a kid in a candy store.
*Just take 72 points – there’s no wrong answer here. Avoid clichés like the plague!